Grant-maker (even more fun with Archivist on the Roof)

Grant-maker (music from Matchmaker [lyrics, video])

Grant-maker, grant-maker, I need some cash!
Find me a line! They’ll fund the match!
Finding aids encoded in EAD
Did I mention we’re 503c?

Grant-maker, grant-maker, you bring the dough,
I’ll be your staff, raring to go
Everything digitized, fully online
Accessible for all time (not really!)

For Papa, make the job full-time
For Mama, make it prestigious
For me, well, I wouldn’t mind
Working only with Egyptian papyrus!

Grant-maker, grant-maker, I need some cash!
Find me a line! They’ll fund the match!
I need to pay off this huge student loan
So fund me a job
Of my own

…

Hodel, oh Hodel, have I got a job for you
In a cute little town
Population 62
But it’s a good job, a first job,
True? True.

I promise you’ll be happy,
And even if you’re not,
There’s more to life than that—
Don’t ask me what.

Chava, I found it
This job is so unique!
Great experience
It only lasts a week
But it’s a good job, a first job,
See? See.

You heard the boss is evil
She likes to yell and fight
But’s you’re just temporary
So you’re alright

You don’t want a project job?
Well that’s real tough to avoid
With no 3 to 5 years of prior work experience
Just be glad you’re employed!

Grant-maker, grant-maker
You know that I
Still need a job
More all the time!
But up to this minute I misunderstood
That not every job is good

Dear Congress, please don’t cut funding
Remember, we’re constituents too!
We don’t think we’re too demanding
We just want a job to do!

Grant-maker, grant-maker
I’m going to let
Backlogs remain
Maybe I’ve learned
Term jobs can leave a new archivist burned
So, fund me some funds
Match me a match
Find me a line
Grant me a grant
But I’ll make a backup plan!